Who are you ~ Who do you want to become

Life’s greatest mystery is human character and uniqueness. We craft individuality. Other animals can’t. We share 98 percent of our genes with chimpanzees, yet the 2 percent variation makes all the difference.

We’re not totally subject to our genes. In creating stories, ideas, music, science, and popular culture, in thinking and communicating, humans do surprising things that our genes wouldn’t.

Our destiny lies in becoming individuals — creating and fulfilling our unique potential. We each evolve differently and unpredictably.

Individuality implies differentiation. Becoming different requires editing, subtraction, focus. We become dissimilar by focusing on our distinctive and authentic parts.

True, we’re not blank slates. Our genes determine our appearance and have a big say in many other matters. As we grow up, our parents and family influence how we behave, think, and think of ourselves. Our teachers, friends, priests, bosses, and mentors mold us. The ideas and norms of our society, and the groups with whom we hang out, strongly sway us.

Yet subtract all these influences and there’s still something left: the precious and strange thing called our self, our unique identity and autonomy. However pronounced the pressures on us, we have our own personality. Nobody else on the planet is the same. In a big or small way, we are bound to influence the world, making it different than it would be without us.

We become individuals though subtraction. Less is more. We have the wonderful opportunity to let go of the bits of ourselves that are not authentic, not “really us” — the parts imposed by background, parents, and environment. The authentic self is a small part of our total self, yet it’s the vital self. We all have special gifts, unique imaginations, our little bit of genius: the spark of life that’s wholly ours.

When we focus our self, we give up doing what many other people do, thinking what others think. Is this a loss? Of quantity, yes; but not of quality. In quality, less is more. By narrowing our interests, we deepen and intensify them. By focusing on our best, unique attributes, we become more individual, more human. We focus our power, our singularity, and our ability to enjoy life profoundly and uniquely.

Developing individuality is a conscious process. It involves deciding who you are and who you are not; who you want to become and who you don’t want to become. We become more distinctive individuals through deliberate decisions and actions, honing and increasing what is different and best about us.